When couples separate, there can be feelings of anger, a desire for revenge or a perception of the need for one party to simply try to punish the other – and in all these adult feelings, the feelings of the children can become lost.
Whether you are the person who will have care of the children or the absent parent, it is especially important to remember that, irrespective of your feelings towards your now former partner, your children still love and need you – that hasn’t changed.
Life is not perfect and, in a separation or divorce situation, feelings can run high. It’s important to seek help and advice as soon as you can after you’ve separated – or even before it if you are contemplating it.
If you have children, irrespective of your feelings for your former partner, their welfare and well-being is paramount.
Agreeing residence and contact
Always remember that if you do end up in court, the judge will decide what he or she believes in the best interests of your children. So, it makes sense to try to agree arrangements regarding your children at the earliest opportunity.
Perhaps shared care is an option and your children may thrive in that type of environment. This gives them the opportunity to spend time with you and your former spouse or partner and to support their relationship with each of you.
If that is not practical, it is important to ensure that you and your former spouse or partner, spend time with your children often on an organised basis.
There may well be tension over who should receive what by way of a financial settlement between you – but your children have no concern with that. All they know is that their mum and dad have separated and their living arrangements have changed. Sometimes, this can be for the better, but on most occasions, a breakdown in the relationship between the adults adversely impacts on the wellbeing of the children.
It doesn’t matter what the circumstances are, whenever a couple separate, if there are children involved, great care must be taken to ensure their needs are addressed.
It doesn’t have to be contentious and there are better alternatives to court.
We have experienced family law solicitors who can guide you through the divorce and separation process and discuss your options. Whatever you decide, please always remember the children at this challenging time
Please contact us and we will discuss your options.
